I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How does it feel to date your dad?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
