I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
