I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
