Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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