I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
