I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
