i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
