You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
