I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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