Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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