I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
