you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
