Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
