She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
