You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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