Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
