I'm really into asian looking animals
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
