she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
