she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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