Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
