So drunk its hurt
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
