You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
