first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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