I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
