After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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