There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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