They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
