these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
