if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
