Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm like, not good at living.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
