So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
