...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
