how can u be prego again
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
