apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
