I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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