You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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