just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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