I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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