For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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