I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they need to just BURY HIM!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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