Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
