Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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