we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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