you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
