i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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