I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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