woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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