one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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