K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
