I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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